


Barollins Drabbles

by ChameleonCircuit



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, barollins - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:41:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26870821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChameleonCircuit/pseuds/ChameleonCircuit
Summary: A collection of Barollins drabbles previously in another drabble collection.
Relationships: Barollins, Rafael Barba/Amanda Rollins
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	1. “Is your Seatbelt on?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter tags: angst
> 
> http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/178031890902/is-your-seatbelt-on-barollins

Amanda watched the smile slowly slip from Rafael’s face, morphing into something she’d never seen before, something full of pain and anguish as his face grew pale.

When he hung the phone up he swallowed hard, running a shaky hand through his hair.

“You okay?” She asked warily, not sure if she should give him space or pull him in for a hug.

“I…” he swallowed again, and she wondered briefly if he was going to be sick. “My mother had a heart attack. I…I have to…I need—“

“Okay, hey,” she said softly, taking hold of his arm gently so she could guide him to the door. “I’ll take you. Which hospital?”

“Uh…” he swallowed once more, eyes wide. “St Barnabas.”

She nodded, leading him outside to where her car was parked without another word. She glanced at him, looking small and pale and quite possibly on the verge of tears in the passenger seat, and she felt a flash of guilt for having ever thought he was incapable of emotion.

In the time they’d been together, it had all been fun and games, teasing jabs and heated sex. But when she’d needed it, he could be soft, and gentle, and kind, without ever sounding condescending. Now it was her turn.

Rafael groaned as they hit another red light, fingers clasped tight on his own knee, and she sighed. “Is your seatbelt on?”

He gave her a look so withering she was surprised he had it in him, and she rolled her eyes before turning her siren on, dashing out and around the waiting traffic.

She reached across the divide as she put her foot down, grasping his hand tightly, and he gripped back just as tight. When she could chance a glance at him, he offered her a smile, weak, but full of gratitude that she knew he could never put into words.


	2. “You can borrow mine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter tags: angst, emotional hurt/comfort
> 
> http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/178245297922/you-can-borrow-mine-barollins

Amanda’s hands shook as they wheeled Sonny away from her, siren ringing out. She sucked in a shallow breath as Fin gave her shoulder a squeeze. He was saying something to her, something about a ride home, but she couldn’t quite hear him.

Through the crowd she saw Rafael maneuvering his way towards her, expression grim. Still, when he saw her watching, he smiled, maintaining it the whole way.

“Is he going to be okay?” He asked, tilting his head in question.

“How’d you know?”

“Is he going to be okay?” Rafael repeated, ignoring her question.

“Ah, yeah. Yeah, he’ll be fine.” Her voice shook as fear slipped through the cracks, adrenaline fading.

She glanced down at her hands, freezing completely at the realization that they were covered in blood. Sonny’s blood.

“Hey,” Rafael said softly, bending at the knees to catch her eyes once more, expression soft and full of concern. “What can I do? Tell me what you need.”

She blinked furiously before looking down at her hands again, following the red up to her arms. The edges of her sleeves were soaked, and the more she looked, the more she noticed the patches and flecks of red dotting her coat. She swallowed hard, heart hammering in her chest, though she wasn’t sure why it suddenly felt so overwhelming.

“It’s ruined,” she croaked out, embarrassment flooding her as her vision blurred over with tears.

In an instant Rafael reached out, making quick work of her buttons, shedding the coat, letting it fall to the floor. “You can borrow mine,” he said quietly, fingers already working on his own buttons.

The moment the too-large coat was around her shoulders, something in her broke, and she leaned into him, exhaustion taking over.


	3. “Like I expected, you’re much comfier than my pillow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter tags: emotional hurt/comfort, silly fluff
> 
> http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/178529389247/like-i-expected-youre-much-comfier-than-my

Amanda frowned, steeling herself before she looked through the peephole on her door. She’d already run through the multitude of people who could be on the other side, ranging from Liv to her own mother, but she hadn’t considered Rafael, looking more than a little worse for wear, even in the distorted view the peephole provided.

“Barba? What the hell?” She asked as she opened the door, and he just half-smiled at her, eyes red-rimmed and sad, and her heart clenched at the sight.

“Was in the neighborhood,” he muttered as she moved aside to let him in, and she hummed in response, not buying it for a second.

He wandered into the lounge room before turning, looking lost, like he didn’t know where he was or how he got there.

“Jeez, Rafael, how much did you have to drink?”

“I lost count,” he shrugged.

“Any reason for the excess drinking?” She asked, her way of asking if he was okay without being quite so overt about it.

He turned towards her fully, smiling again, that broken thing he’d worn on his face at the door. “I thought it would help.”

“Help what?” She asked, moving towards him. “What’s up?”

He shook his head, swallowing, before reaching out to cup her face. “I just needed to see you,” he said quietly, swaying a little.

“Okay, woah.” She reached out to steady him.

For a moment they just looked at each other before his lips crashed against hers, clumsy and needy in all the ways he usually wasn’t. She gently pried him from her, held him at arm’s length, and for a moment she was worried he was going to cry.

“C’mon,” she said softly, wrapping an arm around him. “Bed.”

He nodded, leaning into her touch as she led him to the bedroom. He was surprisingly easy to undress, compliant and silent, and when she got under the covers he scooted close, curling in on her so his head was rested on her chest.

“Like I expected, you’re much comfier than my pillow,” he muttered, finally sounding content, and she laughed, patting his head.

“Okay, Barba. If you say so.”


	4. “How much of that did you hear?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter tags: fluff
> 
> http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/178916055122/barollins-how-much-of-that-did-you-hear

Amanda groaned as her mother continued to rant about how Amanda would be a spinster, old and alone with no money or prospects, as though they were living in the 1800s and she couldn’t possibly fend for herself.

She’d lost count of how many times she’d felt a surge of regret at answering her phone at six in the morning. It was far too early to be dealing with family, and with Rafael asleep in the room behind her, the feeling that she was wasting her time had doubled.

“I have a boyfriend, mom,” she interrupted, words out of her mouth before she’d really thought them through.

“A boyfriend, or a man you’ve been sleeping with?”

Amanda rolled her eyes at her condescending tone, tapping on the railing of Rafael’s balcony.

“I’m sleeping with him and he’s my boyfriend.”

“What’s his name?”

“Rafael,” Amanda replied instantly, leaning into a half-truth. They were sleeping together, but Rafael was definitely not her boyfriend. “Rafael Barba. He’s an assistant district attorney.”

She couldn’t help but puff her chest out, injecting pride into her tone. The truth was, if Rafael were her boyfriend, she would be proud. She was happy with their current arrangement, but, aside from an overbearing mother, which Amanda knew she had no right to complain about, Rafael was basically the full package.

“How’d you manage that?”

Amanda scoffed, burying a flash of hurt that still, after all these years, her mom didn’t regard her very highly.

“What, you think I’m beneath him? ‘Cause lemme tell ya, we—“

“I don’t need to know,” her mother cut her off, and she could just picture the raised hand and the holier-than-thou look on her face. “Bring him to Matthews wedding.”

Amanda sighed, covering her face with her free hand “Mom, I’m not coming to Matthews wedding.”

“Well, that was before you got yourself a hotshot lawyer boyfriend.”

“I don’t think Rafael would want—“

“Nonsense, I expect to see him there.”

Before Amanda could respond, the line went dead, and she groaned, burying her face in her arms on the balcony railing.

The moment she heard a throat clear behind her, she wished the ground would swallow her whole. Without looking up, she asked, “How much of that did you hear?”

“Enough,” Rafael said softly, and she counted his steps before he settled behind her, winding his arms around her waist.

He pressed a kiss to the back of her neck before resting his chin on her shoulder, and without looking, she could picture the soft, lazy smile on his face lit up by the rising sun. It was the mornings that made her think that they could really have something if they wanted it. In the mornings Rafael was soft, unguarded, but in a way that allowed Amanda to be those things too, without feeling vulnerable. They were similar in so many ways, it was almost too perfect.

“I can come to the wedding, if that’s what you want.”

Amanda huffed out a wry laugh, turning her head towards Rafael. “That’s what my mom wants.”

“Sometimes it’s best just to keep them happy.”

Amanda rolled her eyes, resting her chin on her arms. “You’ve never met my mother.”

“But I could,” Rafael insisted, giving her a small squeeze.

Amanda sighed, closing her eyes, enjoying the warmth of him pressed up behind her and the way his breath tickled her cheek every so often. It was nice, comforting in all the ways she’d never wanted before the past couple of months. She wished she knew what had changed.

“I kinda lied and told her you were my boyfriend,” she admitted, voice muffled by her arm.

Rafael was silent for a moment, and Amanda cursed herself internally as she tried to pull out of his grasp, but he held her tight and firm.

“I could be...if you wanted that.”

“You’re saying _you_ want that?” Amanda asked, eyes wide with shock as she pulled away to look at him properly.

“I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about it,” he said quietly before biting at his lower lip.

She searched his eyes, which were wide and uncertain, and for a moment he looked so small and so vulnerable, and a flash of fear coursed through her. But she pushed it away in favor if leaning in to capture his lips in a soft, tender kiss, her hands coming up to cup his face and pull him in closer.

His arms dropped to her hips like they belonged there, pulling her flush against him.

“I’ve thought about it too,” she whispered as they broke apart.

His expression remained neutral for what felt like far too long, but eventually, he broke out in a smile, genuine and happy, and she found herself grinning back at him as he pulled her in again.


End file.
